How to Survive the First 3 Months
Mother Knows Best!
I'm sure there are countless blogs and articles on this topic, but I wanted to throw in my 2 cents. We all have different experiences and tips about what worked for us. What works for one baby, wont work for another. But sometimes just reading about another mum's tricks, can help when we reach new milestones.I do want to say though, above all, listen to your own instincts. They will never do you wrong. It's the same one we had when we were pregnant and weren't sure about baby's movements.
You will learn your baby, better than you thought possible. You always think, 'Oh God! I'll never learn their different cries!' But strangely you do. So fill your head with different morsels of information but don't feel you have to stick to something, just because it worked for so and so's baby. The world isn't black and white. You can do a mix of different techniques. Or throw them all out of the window and make up new rules!
The First Few Weeks
Those early days are all about survival. It's a shock having a new life that completely depends on you for everything.- Give yourself a few days before you welcome visitors - Everyone wants to cuddle the new baby, but so do you. My biggest mistake was trying to get all the visits out of the way in the first 2 weeks whilst my husband was home. One day we had 4 sets of visitors and it ended in me having a meltdown because I hadn't held my new baby all day!
- Let your other half do everything - In those first 2 weeks where they're not at work, just sit on the sofa/lay in bed and make the most of all the newborn cuddles.
- Sleep - Everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps...this wont happen. You will be too busy staring in awe at the tiny human you just made! But at some point, do try and get some sleep. I used to do the early feed and then go back to bed. When Jake next woke up, my husband would take him downstairs and leave me to get a few more hours kip.
- Food - Everyone tells you to precook and freeze meals. We didn't. Mainly because I hate reheated food. My husband cooks (always has done) so I held Jake whilst he cooked dinner. It realistically only takes 30mins anyways and tastes a lot nicer than frozen meals.Sometimes the baby sleeps whilst you are cooking/eating anyways. Do have lots of little snacks around that are easy to grab. Worry about your diet later.
- Don't put yourself under pressure - Some days you will be super mum; get all the washing/cleaning done and feel awesome. Other days you wont make it out of your pj's, let alone the house. It's fine if you spend all day cuddled up. You kept a tiny human alive and that isn't easy.
- Fresh air solves most issues - For me it was a lifeline. I'm not one for staying indoors a lot (note why we have 3 dogs). Going out for a walk with the pushchair stopped me getting cabin fever. It helped me focus on my C-Section recovery (each day I'd try to walk a bit further). And it rocked Jake to sleep within seconds. If you're having a bad day, sometimes a bit of sun and space to breathe helps soothe your mind and calm your worries. Plus, who doesn't love that new mum glow, pushing around your baby for everyone to see?! (but if you don't get out, don't feel bad. It was just what worked for us)
- Accept Help - This is where I say I'm glad I had a C-Section. It made me slow down and accept help. Without it I would have definitely tried to do it all myself too soon. Both mums were amazing. They walked the dogs for us and cleaned the house. In exchange, they got Jake cuddles afterwards. Baby cuddles are a great currency for getting people to do things for you. One time I really wanted chocolate, but its a bit extreme to load a baby into a car and out again just for a small bar. So I rung my mum up and asked if she wanted to come see Jake for a bit, and stop at the shop on the way for me. It's a win/win. Even if you don't need help, use it anyways, because it makes others feel involved.
- Take your time - I felt under a lot of pressure to leave Jake for the first time. It seems to be the one question everyone asks, 'Have you left them yet?' People tell you to leave the baby and go out for a date night. Whilst I agree date nights are important, I just had a baby!! Why would I want to leave him?! Some parents do it early because that is what feels right for them. But if you're like me and don't want to, then don't. You wont enjoy it if you feel forced. I cried for half an hour the first time I left him....and the second and the third time. We only just left him for his first sleepover with grandparents last weekend. Even then, it was only because we were going to a concert (not very baby friendly). More often than not, we prefer to stay in with Jake, or if we go for a meal, we take him with us.
- Podcasts/Audiobooks - Absolute lifesavers for night feeds! Stopped me sitting in the dark in silence (creepy and my over active imagination went to horror movie overdrive). I recommend 'Happy Mum, Happy Baby' and 'Not another mummy podcast'. Both very funny, down to earth mum podcasts, They will make you laugh and cry. One episode would last one feed. Felt like having a friend to chat to at night. Book wise, I listened to the harry potter audiobooks throughout my pregnancy (I had a lot of insomnia). Because I know the story so well, they're easy to listen to without having to fully concentrate on them
- Find Your Tribe - It sounds so cliche but find mum friends! They will be a shoulder to cry on when you feel rubbish, will reassure you when google says your baby has 101 illnesses, and laugh with you when you get covered in poo. Plus, you can always guarantee at least one of them will be up at the same time as you in the night. I'm very fortunate that some of our friends had babies at simular times to us. I'm also great friends with ladies from my prenatal class. But if you don't have anyone you know, websites like mummy social ad even just instagram can help connect you to other mums. Some of the mum's I chat to every day are ladies who I met on instagram.
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