Ten Little Toes

Introducing Jake

Firstly, I would like to apologise for how long it has taken me to write Jake's birth story. Every time I thought about sitting down to do it; I was either too tired or easily distracted by my beautiful baby boy. But lets be honest, he is the best excuse for tardiness ever!
This is also a pre-warning to anyone who is waiting to go in for an induction. My story is not one of a smooth birth. If you are nervous, I woudn't recommend reading until after your own experience. All I will say is everyone's story is different. There are good and bad experiences for every kind of birth. Don't drive yourself mad reading them. You will only scare yourself, because we inevitably focus on the horror stories and what can go wrong. Your story will be unique to you and your baby. Each birth is different!! Even two similar births can be perceived differently by the two women who went through it.

The Last Few Days

After visiting a consultant, due to the estimated size of 'Not so Little' Man, it was decided we would have an induction at 40 + 3. My dreams of a calm, hands off homebirth went flying out the window. As did all hopes of a water birth.

A few sweeps were done before my induction but my cervix was way to high for it to be
a) comfortable to cope with,
b) have any effect on starting labour.
My body simply wasn't ready yet. Probably wasn't helped by the male doctor with giant hands. My vagina winced before he even went near it to try!
I was offered an elective c-section, but as it was my first baby, I was keen to know if I could physically give birth.

Having a date set made it a little easier, as I stopped waiting around and second guessing every twinge I felt. I had walked up every hill I could find with my dogs, but labour only starts when it's ready. There is no trick that will get things going. Ignore people when they suggest things. Or better still, poke them in the eyes, because they will be the hundreth person to suggest pineapple, curry or sex to you!

I knew I would be going in on Saturday afternoon to kick start it all. We went for our third 'last meal' as a couple. You tend to keep going out before the baby arrives, just to make the most of it. Even though we normally didn't eat out much, we were suddenly going out for food every other night!

D-Day

Saturday morning was spent trying to get as much rest as possible. Knowing things may move quickly once the propess was in place, I tried to bank as many hours of sleep as possible. The drive to the hospital was so strange! Thinking that we were going in as a couple, and we'd be leaving a family. Especially because I wasn't in labour. My mind knew what was about to happen but my body had no clue! It was a strange nervous atmosphere. Even though I was being induced, we didn't really know which day our son would be born on. My money was on Monday, as my Dad, Brother and myself are all born on Monday's. But I would have been quite happy with a Sunday birth if it meant a shorter labour!
Two of the biggest benefits to having an induction, is not suffering contractions for a car journey! Also, no waters breaking on my living room floor 😂

Fortunately, when we got to hospital, the induction ward was full. We were ushered into our own private room! There was a squishy chair that made farting sounds when my husband extended it so he could lay down. It was a great source of amusement when we needed a break from the boredom. And I wont lie, it is very dull waiting for labour to start in a small room with no view and no tv.

That first night, nothing exciting happened. We decided my husband should go home, to get a decent night's sleep. For me, this was a huge thing. I'm not keen on hospitals and my husband is deaf. I was terrified he wouldn't hear the phone telling him to come back, if I went into labour. For this reason, he stopped at his parents house so I could ring the home phone if I needed him. (Then his parents could wake him.)
Funnily enough, I messaged him at 5am to tell him my cervix hadn't changed at all, so he was safe to have a shower and decent breakfast before coming back. He then relaxed and went back to sleep. His mum decided to let him have a lie in.......of all days to let him sleep in! 😂 So as it was, it was a good job not a lot happened, because he didn't get back to hospital until 10am! By which point, I was climbing the walls with utter boredom. I didn't want to walk around the hospital on my own, in case anything happened. I hadn't slept at all. Labour wards are noisy as women come and go, constant alert sounds in the corridors, regular checks on myself and baby. I had a book which I read and finished over night.


The second my husband arrived, I turned him right around so we could go for a walk about. You are limited to hospital grounds but it's amazing how many miles you can rack up walking constantly up and down stairs! In the end, it became a challenge to see how many stair cases I could cover. I even started jumping down  the stairs, in vain hope it would help bounce the baby out. My husband's theory was, that it's just like getting ketchup out of a bottle. You just need a good smack on the top to force it out the bottom 😂😂😂

My contractions started that afternoon, as we watched the snow fall outside. At the beginning, I was reluctant to call them contractions because they were barely noticeable with no real pattern. We started playing cards to help the time pass, timing the contractions out of curiosity. True enough, they started getting stronger and more regular. 24 hours after the propess was inserted, my cervix was checked and found to be 1cm. Frustrating after spending 5 hours contracting.
By midnight, I couldn't sit down anymore, so we played standing up, whilst I walked around the room singing Disney songs. (It's a coping technique I have)

By 3am I was in a fair amount of pain. I don't get on well with gas and air. Taking it is like going from sober to uncontrollably drunk in less than 3 seconds. The dizziness and nausea was horrendous. I'm also allergic to morphine, so my options were limited. Hypnobirthing helped at the beginning but by this point I was so tired, I lost my ability to stay calm. My midwife was amazing. She took one look at me and swept me into a hot bath. Instant relief! I managed to calm down and gather my strength for the rest of the night.

The End Is In Sight

30 hours after my induction started, it was time for the propess to come out. Unfortunately, it was so far up (along with my super high cervix), that I found it unbearable to have them take it out. It took two people trying to finally remove it. They actually searched the whole labour ward for the person with the thinnest, longest hands to take it out, with the hopes they'd reach it easier. This was not the case!
I was 2cm dialated at this point. Heartbreaking after having strong contractions every 5 minutes. The decision was made to break my waters whilst they were there. This was the strangest feeling! What surprised me the most, was how warm it felt. I mean, it makes sense. It has to be warm to keep your baby warm. It's been inside you for 9 months. But I was still shocked by the temperature of it. People don't lie when they says its a sudden gush either!! It felt like the biggest wave of fluid.A bit like suddenly peeing myself because I'd held onto a full bladder for a bit too long. Despite having an absorbable pad underneath, I was still sat in a pool of it.
No one warns you, but with every contraction, more fluid comes out. You need to wear those brick like pads from this point on-wards! I would also advise very cheap, very large pants to put them in. That way, you don't feel guilty throwing them away when they get covered in gunk. Birth is so attractive. I laughed with my husband that I had clearly never looked sexier, stood in my granny pants with a brick in between my legs 😂

If I thought my contractions were powerful before, I was kidding myself. I've never seen my husband look so helpless as when he looked at me. I could see the pain in his eyes, knowing he could do nothing to make it easier for me. All he could do was hold my hand, as contraction after contraction came. It felt like there was no break. Two hours later, another internal examination revealed that nothing had changed.

I was broken.

Hours of strong, unproductive contractions had me in tears, freaking out that my body was failing to do the most natural thing it was designed for. My cervix and I were no longer friends. I had to be put on the hormonal drip, in the hopes that it would finally help me get to fully dilated. I knew it would mean my contractions would get stronger and faster (if that was even possible!)

I crumpled and asked for an epidural. Through floods of tears, I apologised for failing and 'giving in'. Even though I know this isn't the case. Even though my husband held me tight as he told me I was the bravest person he knew. Even though I know it was the best decision I made. I still feel a little like I failed. I'd hoped I would be strong enough to cope with the pain. But after 2 days of no sleep and over 20 hours of strong contractions, I had hit a wall. I had lost control over the situation and needed to restore some calm.

To Be Continued...