The First Trimester

Ah....where to start.....

Well let's just say, I originally wanted to write this whilst I was experiencing the first three months so I could be 100% honest about how I felt, before I forgot what it was like later on. Upon reflection, it's a good job I didn't because it would have been filled with a fair few swear words!

 When you first see that little plus sign you get so excited. But tradition states you can't tell anyone in case you jinx it and end up having a miscarriage. Can I just say how stupid this tradition/old wives tale is?!
1 - Yes, the risk of miscarriage is higher before you reach 12 weeks pregnant. However, it's in these first few months that you need the most help and reassurance! Is this normal? Is that normal? You can end up with horrendous morning sickness that you feel you're not allowed to truly explain. And all you really want is someone to come around and look after you.

2 - it's really difficult to explain why you're not drinking for two months if you live in a family like mine....not that we're raging alcoholics.....but in the rare British summer it's common to be offered a cold drink when you nip round. If you suddenly start turning them down, it raises more than a few eyebrows!

3 - You are not going to cause a miscarriage just by telling someone you are pregnant!

I do understand why you shouldn't shout it to every man woman and child, because should the worst happen, you don't want to have to go back and tell them all the bad news. But, particularly in Britain, we are made to feel like we shouldn't tell anyone, or even really discuss it between ourselves until the magically 12 week point 🙄

We clearly didn't manage to stick to this. After a week, I had run out of excuses for not drinking, and a simple 'I'm detoxing for a bit' would have still lead to 'oh just have one' (which I would have done were I not pregnant). So we ended up telling our parents when I was 6 weeks in. My parents were sat on the sofa and lifted their arms in a cheer (which gave me the mental image of them being on a rollercoaster). My husbands parents offered me a drink as we went round to tell them, so I just said 'I've been told I'm not allowed to drink for a while..' Pretty similar situation to how we told them we were engaged a few years ago. To fill the picture in more, we share a fence in our gardens so we casually pop round quite often and just drop big news 😂 I love watching someone's face as they digest what you've said and realise how big it is!

One of the people I was most excited to tell, was my sister in law (husband's sister) because she is pregnant too. Knowing we could share bits and we'd both be on maternity at the same time made everything so much better. As her and her partner lived only round the corner, I knew we couldn't keep it from them either. When they came back off holiday with a gift of local alcohol for us (I swear we're not alcoholics 😂🙈) I blurted out that I didn't think my husband would be able to save any for me to try in 9 months time. It's at this point we realised maybe we do drink too much..
Not really. We worked out our children would be in the same year at school!! We're already predicting they'll be more like siblings than cousins. Double trouble indeed!

So back to the realities of the hell....I mean the joys of the first trimester.
When I think about it, you only suffer for two months as the first 4-5 weeks you don't even know your womb is hiding a secret. Two months doesn't seem that long, when you're carrying a child for 18+ years (it clearly just gets harder after physically incubating them for 9 months)

Let me tell you.....those two months drag! I have never experienced time move so slowly as in those 8 weeks. As if by magic, once we discovered our news, the nausea hit 🤢
I was grateful  to work night shifts only, as this meant I only had to suffer through a week at work, followed by two glorious weeks of Netflix on my sofa. The downside is, you technically wake up several times so get hit with 'morning sickness' several times a day. I'd get it at 4pm when I'd wake up for work, 3am after my break, and again at 7am when I was doing patient hangovers. The worst point was after my break mid shift. Waking up wanting to vomit over every pet is not fun. Especially when your patients vomit or diarrhoea everywhere. Several times I would walk into a ward to turn around straight away and run out, away from the smell. That's another fun pregnancy trick....increased sense of smell! You really get all the fun super powers at once 😂

So for those who aren't/haven't been pregnant, what is the best way for me to describe 'morning' sickness? Try remembering you're worst ever hangover.....got it.....now remove the fun you had drinking to get there and add in hormonal rages. Pretty much sums it up. Day in and out I felt constant nausea. Thankfully, only once was I actually sick. I may have had a bath that was a little bit hotter than recommended and it bottomed out my blood pressure. Stood up, went dizzy and threw up in the loo. Just so happened I was supposed to meet a friend that day, so ended up telling her I was pregnant too, so she wouldn't think I was rude or avoiding her for cancelling last minute.

You know how when you're recovering from said hangover, you have to wait until you decide what you fancy to eat, and then rush to get it before your body changes its mind? Yup, also what the first trimester is like. Cooking was a no go, which irritated me as I'd just found my flow as a newly wed, cooking all sorts of different dishes. My poor husband had to reel off a giant list of food every night until I heard something that even just mildly tempted me. For some reason, I also stopped being able to eat massive portions. Now for people in my family, is will fill them with horror. I have ALWAYS been a foodie. Always eaten epic sized portions and several courses. Suddenly I couldn't even finish half a plate. Eating in itself was exhausting. Having to get up and sit at the table and chew, felt like a chore. I must have spent several weeks just laying all day, every day on my sofa, surrounded by my dogs.
In fact, the only time I made it out of the house, was to walk them, because I felt so bad for them. But it was hard going, and I couldn't keep up my usual striding pace. Even my chihuahua walked faster!

That been said, it is all worth it when you see the little bundle during the first scan. It suddenly becomes very real. You're going through this for them, and you know it will be the greatest thing you have ever done.

Still, if anyone else would have told me that it'll all get better in the second trimester, just one more time, I could not have been held accountable for my actions! I know it's people trying to help, but it doesn't help when I feel miserable.